Well, here I go again...a month later. I am just not good at this regularly blogging thing. Oh well!! Can't be fabulous at everything, although I can certainly try. 

I think I last posted before I went to Oregon, so I guess I'll start there! I actually had a pretty wonderful trip home, minus one little meltdown at my dad's birthday party. I don't know what happened with that, other than it was nearing the end of my trip, it was my first wedding anniversary and I wasn't with my husband, and my parent's house is just way too small and my family is just too loud with too many people in that tiny space. I basically ended up just running out of there about 45 minutes before the party was actually over. I was feeling so overwhelmed and anxious and I just couldn't take it. It has been happening to me infrequently for the last few years, usually only when we are having a big family function and I just start freaking out.

Anyways.

So the rest of the trip was a lot of fun. I got to spend alot of time with J, who is one of my best girlfriends in the world. We always have so much fun and I just love her to pieces. I didn't get to see E, which made me sad for sure! He is my favorite and can always make me smile no matter what. I did go to Multnomah Falls with J -- quite a hike when you haven't hiked  anywhere in about 2.5 years! That's the bad thing about Memphis...So flat! No hiking unless you drive 2 or 3 hours into Arkansas :( I did finally get to go to the beach in Oregon, though! My wonderful sister and I took the kids out there, and it was so nice to just hear the ocean and feel the breeze. It was AMAZING. I only wish my sweets could have been there! The baby looooved eating the sand, we couldn't get him to stop shoving it into his mouth when weren't looking - yikes! I have gotten to be there for both his and my sweet boy S' first times to the beach - I love it. I want to be the cool auntie :) I think I need to get some packages going for them in the mail!!

Something huge happened as well...that fabulous job I was going on about last time I wrote? Yep, not working for her anymore. Apparently, she decided that she didn't need me as an assistant after all. AFTER I quit my other job so I could work for her. Lovely, right? And above all that, she told me over a text message! Haha. Very smooth. Oh well, I guess that just means it wasn't meant to be and I will hopefully find something fabulous soon. I am not looking very hard until Dad is gone though. 

Speaking of which: My dad is going to be flying into Little Rock in two days! Woooohooo!! I am so so excited. It has been over a year since anyone has come out and visited us, and I am over the moon that it's my wonderful dad! I love him so much and I can't wait to show him all the awesome things Memphis has to offer. (It also has some terrible things going for it as well, but I won't focus on those!) Jon & I have been working hard on the guest room...well, mainly me but he has financed a lot of it :)  It is really taking shape and I am so proud! I painted the bookshelves in there today; white so they match the other shelf that's already on the wall. Nothing too crazy but it is looking good! 

Time for me to go check on the mice. Hopefully I can get off campus by 7:30! 

~A

so, my awesome friend erin who is really inspiring me to get my weight on track has inspired me in yet another way to get my butt back into blogging. can it really have been 6 months since i last posted anything? yikes. 

let me try to think of all the updates. 

i still have: 

awesome husband

cute dog

lots of schoolwork

volunteering

great family

nice friends

i have recently acquired:

FANTASTIC new job!!! i really do love it. i got a job as a personal assistant for a lady here in memphis, and she is really great. i get to do all the things my ever loving ocd heart could desire: planning, scheduling, making lists, crossing things off lists, running around like a crazy person, meeting new people, feeling really extra important for no reason at all :) doesn't that sound fabulous? it is!

i am, sadly, no further along in my weight loss than i was when i posted last. i have issues. lots of them. i just can't seem to do it. maybe it's my attitude? maybe it's that i make excuses for myself? maybe it's a lot of things. all i know is, i don't want to be this girl anymore. i was telling a friend today, about how i used to be an athlete, and that sometimes i just sit back and wonder where that girl went, and could she come back, please? i don't know. i just started my gym membership back up, so hopefully that will inspire me to be eating better as well. i will keep you all posted!

maybe. in six months. :) 

oooh, another update. my little baby sister is pregnant. i still can't believe it, really! i know she is 24, but...she's the baby. right? she can't be pregnant. can she?

so crazy. 

on another awesome, fantastic note: i am flying home on tuesday to see all my sweet nieces, nephews, and assorted other family and friends. i can't wait!! they are so amazing and i am really excited about it.

well, i feel better now that i updated. hopefully i can keep up with it and write again sooner rather than later.

place where i am going to be in just a few short days::

multnomah falls, in the beautiful state of oregon :)

blissful.

sometimes, all i can think about is how lucky i am. how blessed, and amazed, and truly humbled by the fact that i live the most incredible life. how just one act of cruelty by someone who never really cared about anyone but himself, could turn into the most amazing journey of my life. i try so hard not to hold on too tight, for fear i might accidentally crush the beautiful gift that has been given to me. i don't even want to breathe too hard sometimes, because i don't want things to change, to be different in any way at all, because they're so perfect just the way they are.

place where I want to be today: right where I am :) memphis!

October, how I love thee...

I am so ridiculously happy it's fall!! No, seriously. It's amazing. There is actually one very, very nice thing about not living in P-town during the October-March months...SUN!!! I have been checking their weather & comparing it to ours...10 day forecast for M-City= Sunny & amazing! 10 day forecast for P-Town...Ick, ick, and more ick. I mean, don't get me wrong: I do love foggy, rainy, cloudy days and I am a sweatshirt/flip-flops kinda girl. Forever. BUT, I have been getting pretty spoiled on the seriously amazing amount of sunnage we get here in the lovely state of TN! I think it will definitely be another adjustment when we move back to the great, gorgeous Northwest. You win some, you lose some!

So, I am 100% back on track with my eating. I am finally taking control, and it feels so good. Seriously, I am just trying to take it one day at a time, and I am tracking EVERYTHING in a notebook I bought expressly for my food/exercise log. I haven't done so well on the working out this week, but tomorrow I am definitely hitting the gym in the morning! Tomorrow morning is strength training at 8:30 and Zumba at 9:30, and I am psyched up for both! Then I am hopefully going to have time to get in the pool  & hot tub for a bit as a reward!! Another new change I am trying to implement: More water & MUCH less soda and coffee. The coffees I love are so expensive and have SO much sugar in them! I just need to cool it. Maybe once a week will be okay, but I don't even think it has been two days yet, so I just going to try to make it until next Wednesday without having one. And the soda? That is another one step at a time thing...I am going to have to tell my love that I very much appreciate his buying me a soda every day on the way home, but I no longer need to have that every day. (He is so good to me, btw!) 

I feel like with my finally trying to get my weight under control, maybe I can start to have some control in other areas of my life as well. For example, schoolwork!! I am trying hard to keep up with the studying. It is really hard to just sit down and actually STUDY in these types of lecture classes, because there are no actual assignments...Just come to class, take notes, study those for the test. Yikes! You have to have some serious motivation to really sit down and just study instead of goofing off on the million other things I could be doing online. 

Anyhow. Time to turn my brain off and watch some SVU. Hopefully I can get to sleep before 3am tonight!! Insomnia has not been my friend lately. 

Debbie Downer alert!!

I am not sure why I have been such a slacker lately with my bloggeration, but, I have. New goal: Fix it! 

Hmm, so what has been going on since I last updated...Not much. 

I have been extremely unmotivated with pretty much every aspect of my life, for some reason. I go through these phases occasionally, and then I have to seriously kick my own ass in order to get back out of them. Ass-Kicking: Commence!!


I am determined to start this week out brand-new. I am going to make a schedule of when I am going to work out, what I am eating for the day, and also when I am going to study. For some reason, I do a whole lot better when I have everything all written out & lined up. If I just try to wing it, I almost always fail. Failure is not an option this week, friends.

On my weight-loss goals, specifically: I want to lose about 50 pounds before Christmas. I think it is do-able, but I will NOT be able to have any more of these little lapses in motivation. I have really had such a hard time with it since moving to Memphis...in reality I have actually GAINED 30 lbs since we moved out here. How sad & disgusting is that. Sometimes, I look in the mirror and all I can think of is...Where did I go!? I just want to get back to where I felt happy, and healthy, and where it didn't completely get me out of breath to lean down and tie my shoes. 

Some days, I am so tired of being me.

Well, this post started out very optimistic, then did a serious dive down into Debbie-land, so I am going to end it on a positive note.


This week, I WILL: 

1) Go to all my classes & study as hard as I can for every test. I have an opportunity to do really, amazingly well at school. Don't blow it.

2) Work out Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. No exceptions!

3) Walk Roxie all of the above days.


4) Be the best wife I can be. Try to get rid of as much moodiness, anxiety, and evil bitchiness as I can in every workout I have, so I can be as pleasant & supportive as he deserves.


5) Last, but definitely not least, I want to track everything I eat/drink this week, and see if it really makes a difference in how I feel I did. Anything helps!


And here's what you've all been waiting for...


Exotic destination I am dreaming about today: EGYPT!!

Are we really having this conversation...again?!

Sometimes, I am just so sick of hearing the television I could scream. I don't understand the fascination with it, not one bit. I am not saying I do not enjoy the occasional TV show, because I do. I like certain crime shows, the Food Network, some of the shows on HGTV. The difference is, I could go weeks without watching the TV and not miss it a bit. J could sit on his ass every day of the week and rot his brain out with that BS. I just can't stand it some days. The constant chatter & noise just makes me want to rip the hair out of my head, one by one. Before I do that, however, I have the urge to call my husband every synonym for lazy/annoying/sloth in the dictionary. I have tried to let him do his thing, and not say anything about it, but honestly some (most) days I just have to say something. I don't get why a person would not want to go out and be in the world; so many museums, parks, places to go, people to see....why would you want to sit and waste all your time in front of the television? What is the point of wasting your life that way? I know that everyone has different ways of relaxing, and that I should be more open & less judgmental. I know. I'm trying, I really am. Sometimes, though, I just can't.

Okay, I'm finished ranting. I think. Maybe. If I have another urge to go off again...well, you'll know.

I think I am going to go to the art museum this afternoon. I have been wanting to go for a long long time, and I am sick of waiting for it to suit someone else to take me or go with me. Sometimes, ya just gotta take the initiative and do your own thing.

I also have quite a bit of Microbiology studying to do.  I have been putting off my schoolwork horribly, so I guess it's time to go ahead and get started before the term is over. 

Right?

Nothing too exciting to report here today. Just the usual things happening over here...I will definitely let you all in on it if something massive (or, probably not so massive) happens.


Place of my dreams today: BERN, SWITZERLAND!

Someday.

Baby fever!

You know how some people are just so incredibly smart, artsy, and the way they write can just blow your mind and put you right into their world?

...yeah, that's not me.

I am just writing so I can have an outlet to talk about whoever I want, whatever I want, however I want. If you don't like it, step off my page.

I am not really that sassy. Usually. Okay, sometimes I am. I guess I just really want to have a record of how I am feeling at different times & different experiences in my life, and writing it all down in a little bitty notebook just gets old. Fast. Plus my hand gets so tired I quit after about the 4th sentence. Typing suits me so much better!

My new little nephew was born today. He is the sweetest thing! I can't wait to meet him and give him lots & lots of kisses. Being so far away from all the kids and my family is yet another crappy thing about living in M-town.  Not only is it crime-filled, trash-ridden, and roach-infested, it is 2500 miles away from my babies! And that, my friends, is a shame all it's own. I told J tonight while we were walking that I think I want to find an NP program in the Northwest instead of keeping on keeping on out here. We still have another 3ish years until I am done with my Masters anyways, so it's not like we will be hopping on the next bus out of here. Unfortunately.


I have been getting a little bit of baby fever lately. It seems like everywhere I look, there are pregnant women and sweet babies giggling and toddlers saying adorable things, & everyone I know is getting knocked up or trying to get that way. I know that we still want to wait until I at least have my BA finished, but it gets so hard when there are very cute, extremely chubby baby cheeks at all turns. 


Place of my dreams today: BAHAMAS!